


Uncertainties

by nobilis



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Near Future, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 15:16:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14059731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobilis/pseuds/nobilis
Summary: An insufferable sound keeps Tsukasa wide awake, the culprit unexpected, and his night takes a drastically different turn than what he was anticipating.In which, Tsukasa makes some ground breaking discoveries about himself with a little help from a certain former leader of his.





	Uncertainties

**Author's Note:**

> Hello one and all. This is Masato (nobilis) and it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I've been into enstars for a while now, but this was the first time I decided to take a dive into actually writing out a fic for it. 
> 
> Originally this was suppose to be short and funny, but then when I started writing it took a drastically different turn. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy. Leokasa is my jam so I hope I did them justice in this fic.

Tsukasa sighed as he put down his pencil and begun rubbing his temples. How long has it been since he started studying? Looking over at the clock, Tsukasa noted the time.

10:48.

He could hardly believe it was that late already. He should have been in bed over an hour ago. Perhaps it was from realizing the time that Tsukasa yawned. Even if he was studying, Tsukasa had to still make sure he was getting an adequate amount of sleep each night, so he can effectively perform his tasks for the following day. And despite what a  **certain**  upperclassman would tell him, sleeping in class or during his unit activities did not count as being effective. 

Since becoming a second year, Tsukasa has found himself much busier compared to the previous year. No longer the novice of Knights, Tsukasa was now its Leader and new King. Even if it was already June, it was still a little weird to hear the first years call him “king.” He was grateful that Arashi and Ritsu for the most part still addressed him by his name… or in Ritsu’s case, the nickname he gave him the preceding year because having his seniors address him as king was rather awkward.

They were both older than him, and somehow, they now had to look up to him as their leader when just the year prior, he was the one looking up to them. It was something he wasn’t fully adjusted to yet despite the fact that summer break was around the corner. 

Tsukasa didn’t want it to sound like he doubted Leo’s judgement or ungrateful for making him king instead of Arashi or Ritsu; it truly was an honor that Leo bestowed this responsibility upon him, and that he believed that Tsukasa could continue on the legacy that he and the unit leaders prior to him carried.

Perhaps it was just a little nerve-wracking that he had a new weight of responsibilities resting on his shoulders. Responsibilities he wasn’t expecting to have so soon, but Leo was always one for surprises. If his year with Leo taught Tsukasa anything, it was that you couldn’t really predict what he was going to do.

Putting his thoughts of self-doubt behind him, Tsukasa decided it was time to start getting ready to bed. He still needed to go to school the next day; Knights is having a strategy meeting on how they’re going to handle their next S3 live in a couple of weeks, so he needed to be prepared for it. While Ritsu handled most of the actual strategizing, Tsukasa still had his fair share of work he needed to complete. Not to mention, he wanted to learn from Ritsu as much as he could. 

After all, this time next year, Tsukasa would no longer have Ritsu or Arashi to rely on for support anymore. He truly will be on his own in leading Knights for his third year, so he had to pick up whatever he could that Ritsu and Arashi both had left to offer. Though there was no real pressing manner on Tsukasa learning everything right away and they still have several months together ahead, but Tsukasa couldn’t help but want to learn everything straight away. It was just the type of person he is after all.  

With another yawn escaping his lips, Tsukasa decided he really should get ready for bed now. He went to the bathroom to do his nightly routine before changing into his pajamas and settling into bed after turning off the lights. He didn’t realize how tired he was until he laid his head on his pillow and just as Tsukasa felt he was about to drift off into sleep there was something that insisted on making a racket outside his window. 

At first Tsukasa thought he would just try to ignore it. It was probably just someone going through the neighborhood who was being a tad inconsiderate at the time. Perhaps a drunkard? Surely whoever it was making a racket outside would pass soon enough.

Or at least, that’s what Tsukasa thought.

Until he realized the noise was starting to get louder? Like it was somehow getting closer? But he was on the second floor, so how on earth could something be getting closer? Tsukasa flipped in his bed and put his pillow over his head trying to drown out the noise, but whoever was making the racket seemed to be quite insistent on keeping him up.

But Tsukasa was determined to remain strong. And for a moment he thought he had won. Not that long after he heard a yelp and only silence followed. Tsukasa let out a sigh of relief; he was fully aware of how he should probably be a bit more concerned for whoever was outside, but he was too exhausted to muster any strength now that he was finally able to relax.

Though that relaxation was short lived seeing as when he was just about to fall asleep again, the noise resumed once more.

Unable to handle the noise anymore, Tsukasa got out of bed, and stormed over to his window to see who the perpetrator was, and to give them a piece of his mind. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was really expecting to see, but he certainly wasn’t expecting the truth that was before him. 

“ _Leader!_ ” Tsukasa all but yelled when he saw Leo hanging upside down from the tree outside his bedroom window. All Leo could do was grin when he saw Tsukasa had finally come to the window. It seemed like Leo meant to say something but instead that noise from earlier came out instead. Taking another closer look at Leo he could see the infernal, dare he say, demonic instrument that was keeping him from sleeping in his mouth.

“ _Leader_ , why are you outside my bedroom window making so much racket with a kazoo this late at night? You do realize this is an hour most people like to sleep, don't you?”

Leo looked like he was about to blow into his kazoo again when Tsukasa shot him the iciest glare he could muster, which was good enough to stop Leo in his tracks to know he pushed enough buttons tonight and took the kazoo out of his mouth and started using his words for the first time this evening. 

“Good evening Suo~” Leo practically sang, which only irritated Tsukasa even further as he rubbed his temples. It really seemed like Leo did not care about the time he was intruding.

“ _Leader_ ,” Tsukasa said in an exasperated tone. He was truly at his wit’s end with Leo at this point.

“What? Am I not allow to come and serenade my boyfrie-“

“ _Leader_ , my parents are home!”

Upon hearing that new piece of information, that got even Leo to immediately stop in his tracks knowing the sensitivity of the topic for Tsukasa. The two of them haven’t been dating for long, it was actually a rather recent development within the past few months, but their relation was entirely a secret that only a handful of people knew.

Ritsu, Izumi and Arashi were quick to catch on, and figured it out all on their own that the two of them had begun dating, and Leo’s family was aware of their relationship, but Tsukasa’s family was completely in the dark on the subject. He couldn’t bring it up to them in fear of how they would react to him dating another man. As the sole heir to the Suou name, and to carry on the Suou lineage, Tsukasa carried a heavy burden on his shoulders despite only being seventeen. His parents were generally fairly understanding, and they gave Tsukasa freedom to do plenty of things but being in a romantic relationship with a man wasn’t something he think even they would be particularly keen on.

“Sorry Suo, if I knew I wouldn’t ha- ack!” Leo’s sentence was cut short when the branch he went to latch onto in order to sit up broke and he found himself hanging upside down again.

“ _Leader_ , are you alright?” Tsukasa asked with a sense of urgency. The tree outside his window was fairly strong and he doubt the branch he was currently hanging from would ever break, but the strength of a branch wouldn’t matter if Leo lost his grip. If Leo fell, while he probably wouldn’t die, he would surely be injured rather badly. 

“Don’t worry Suo, I’ve been in worse situations than this and still came out unharmed. Wahaha~ ☆”

“Please mind your volume. Do I need to remind you how everyone else in my home is sleeping now?” Tsukasa chided as he shook his head. He wanted to stay mad at Leo, but he knew that wasn’t possible. It was impossible for him to stay mad at Leo for too long. Part of it probably due to how infectious his laughter was.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll remember properly this time,” Leo said as he made the attempt to sit up again. Thankfully, this time he was able to do so properly without any mishaps and sat on top of the branch normally, or as normally as one could when sitting on a branch outside their boyfriend’s bedroom window.

“Hey Suo, is something bothering you?” Leo asked.

“Huh?” Tsukasa taken aback by Leo’s sudden question. Leo wasn’t normally someone Tsukasa would consider particularly astute. In fact, Leo was quite the opposite. Tsukasa couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times Leo failed to pick on normal social cues or read the atmosphere, so Tsukasa was quite impressed that Leo was even attempting to read the mood between the two of them. 

“Does it look like something is bothering me?” Tsukasa asked, to which Leo nodded his head vigorously.

“Yeah, whenever you’re worried about something your face gets even more scrunchier than usual-” “I beg your pardon.” “- And you have this really pensive look on your face, like you’re not all here.”

“Thank you for your concern, but I assure you, I’m fine.” 

“Suo.” It was Leo’s turn to let out an exasperated noise now. “Didn’t I tell you at the beginning of the year to share your burdens with us? If you’re struggling, then say something. Suo, you always act so reserved, but really, you should be using everything at your disposal. It’s alright to be greedy every now and then, you know. You’re a king after all. Wahaha~ ☆” 

Tsukasa wasn’t really sure what to say. It was true some thoughts did plague his mind every now and then, but he didn't think much of it. To him, they were just fleeting thoughts he had every now and then. Thoughts which he found were both baseless and irrational, so he never found merit in bringing them up because he thought he was doing just fine assuring himself that was the case.

However, Tsukasa was beginning to see that wasn’t entirely true.

With a sigh, Tsukasa looked at Leo who was staring at him intently waiting for his response, “This isn’t the kind of conversation we should be having with you siting outside. Give me a moment to fetch something so you can get in.”

Leo nodded at Tsukasa giving him his affirmation as Tsukasa walked over to his closet. In the depths of his closet he reached for a plank and walked back over to his window and laid it flat across to where the branch was. Tsukasa wished he could say it wasn’t a normal occurrence to find Leo perched on a branch outside his bedroom window, but it has happened enough times now where he made it a point to get a plank of wood in order for Leo to safely cross from the tree to his room. Especially after one of the instances he tried jumping across and almost broke his neck instead. Tsukasa had never been that scared in all of his life before that moment. 

Tsukasa gripped the plank tightly, making sure it was steady and wouldn’t slid around while Leo walked across the plank over to Tsukasa’s side, and into his bedroom. After Leo’s feet were safely planted on the bedroom floor, Tsukasa pulled in the plank and put it back into the depths of his closet 

When Tsukasa turned around to face Leo again, he saw how his boyfriend already made himself comfortable, taking a seat on his bed and quickly patted the space next to him, urging Tsukasa to come join him. With no reason to refuse him, Tsukasa made his way over to his bed and took a seat next to Leo.

The two sat in awkward silence for a little bit. Tsukasa wasn’t really sure where to begin. He didn’t realize something was bothering him until Leo pointed it out five minutes ago, so to just start talking about his feelings at random was rather difficult. Uncertain of what to say or do, Tsukasa stayed silent as he tried to find the right words to convey how he felt.

“Is it us?” Leo asked out of the blue.

“Excuse me?” Tsukasa could only reply to Leo’s question with another question. Was there something that should be a problem between the two of them?

“Do you regret going out with me?”

Tsukasa sat there stunned at Leo’s question. Did he seriously give off that impression to Leo? That he could harbor any amount of regret for agreeing to going out with him? If so, then he was doing a rather poor job as Leo’s boyfriend and needed to start paying better care to his actions or what he said from now on.

“If I may,” Tsukasa said, though it was out of mere formality seeing as he went ahead and grasped Leo’s hand before the other had even given their reply. The younger idol asked out of mere habit, and he knew full well Leo wouldn’t mind small intimate acts like this. In fact, he was sure it would probably make Leo quite happy to see Tsukasa making the initiative for once. After all, it was Leo who would often be the one tackling him and yelling “I love you.” 

“ _Leader_ , I don’t know where you got this idea that I regret going out with you, but if I said or did anything to ever lead you to believe such a thing then please consider this my formally apology,” Tsukasa said remorsefully. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt Leo.

 _Ah._  It suddenly clicked in Tsukasa’s head.

Perhaps this was the explanation for Leo’s late night visit this evening. While the two had only been dating for a few months, Tsukasa was already well acquainted with Leo by the time they agreed to start dating. He knew of Leo’s strange habits how he would say one thing, but underneath the surface there was always something more to it.

Judgement was a perfect example. He yelled at them upon his return. How his Knights has gotten lazy and they were a mess compared to before he left. But in the end, didn’t he declare judgement on them to prove a point to them? To get them to stand up and come together? He played the role of a villain for their sake. That’s what Tsukasa wanted to believe. That Leo was the type of person who loved with all of his heart. It was most certainly an admirable trait, and one thing that Tsukasa loved about Leo, but at the same time, it was also his greatest weakness.

Tsukasa still didn’t have the full details regarding everything that happened a year prior to his enrollment and the weight Chess carried on Leo’s heart, but he knew it was a heavy burden he carried. And if Tsukasa could so help it, he wanted to prevent Leo to ever face that sort of pain ever again.

“Never once did the thought of regret cross my mind when I think about our relationship. Even if one day we were to break up, I won’t ever look back at the time we shared together as a mistake because as the Tsukasa Suou I am now, I can earnestly say how I really admire and treasure Leo Tsukinaga.” 

Tsukasa looked up at Leo to see if maybe he eased Leo’s concerns. He had been so wrapped up with school work, and his duties as Knights’ leader that he failed to notice something was bothering Leo despite how the other noticed right away something was off with him.

When Tsukasa gazed into Leo’s eyes he saw how watery they had become. For a moment Tsukasa wondered if he somehow didn’t properly convey his thoughts towards Leo, but that concern was quickly subsided when Leo tackled him into a hug, effectively knocking him over as he laid on top of him on his bed, “Suuuuoooooooo~”

“ _Leader,_  please mind your level,” Tsukasa hushed. He could see the regret immediately on Leo’s face forgetting his promise to keep it down as he mouthed sorry to him.

The two laid in silence for a little while. Leo kept his hold on Tsukasa as he gently hugged him. For a moment Tsukasa thought Leo might have fallen asleep because he hadn’t said anything for a while and his breathing sounded rather steady, but for the third time this night, Leo surprised him.

“So what is it that’s bothering you then, Suo?” Leo asked. Despite how much time has passed, Tsukasa wasn’t any closer to the answer of what was truly bothering him. Not that he has given it much thought considering he gave a different kind of heart felt confession to Leo instead moments prior.

Tsukasa stayed silent once again unsure of what to really say. He didn’t want to waste Leo’s time as he tried to work out the inner workings of his own mind. His mind was rather jumbled from both how late it was and just from all of his uncertainties.

Unconsciously Tsukasa snuggled a little closer to Leo. He knew it was rather risky for him to be this close to Leo, and in his bed of all places, but being this close to Leo put him at ease, so even if for only momentarily, Tsukasa wanted to be a little reckless. Besides, only a few people remained up at this hour, and for those who do, they have no business coming by his room, so in the end, this was a strategic risk he was taking.

“Suo, you haven’t fallen asleep on me, have you?” Leo asked, to which Tsukasa shook his head before he finally decided to get up and create a reasonable space between the two of them that wouldn’t beg any questions beyond ‘Why do you have a guest this late at night?’ 

“To answer your question from before, if I am to be honest, I’m not really sure what’s bothering me. I suppose my mind is just muddled with various thoughts,” Tsukasa confessed. “I know you told me it’s fine to lean on you more and it’s not that I forgot, but I guess I would rather go to you when I have a more concrete idea of my own thoughts.”

“As a king who ran away, I know I don’t really have a right to say this, but you can still talk to me even if you don’t have your thoughts perfectly sorted.”

“ _Leader_ , you have your university studies, compositions, and still taking on some idol work, so I would rather not trouble you with my trivial matters.”

“Suo.”

There it was again. That exasperated way he said his name whenever he disapproved with something Tsukasa said. When he called his name like that, Tsukasa couldn’t help, but flinch a bit, and meekly look away.

“Hey Suo,” Leo said as he quickly grabbed Tsukasa’s face, turning him, so that Tsukasa would look at him in the eyes rather than the wall before he started pinching at his cheeks and stretching them out.

“Ow, ow, ow,  _Leader_  that hurts. Please stop that,” Tsukasa said. Leo stretched out Tsukasa’s cheeks a few more times before obliging, but his hands remained on Tsukasa’s face as he made sure that Tsukasa would keep looking at him.

“That’s punishment if you think talking about what bothering you is ‘trivial.’” Leo said before he finally put his hands down as Tsukasa went to rub his cheeks with his own hands trying to dull out the pain of Leo stretching his cheeks out. “If something is bothering you then it’s not trivial. Suo, you’re not the type of person who let’s trivial things bother you.”

Tsukasa had to admit, it was a little strange for Leo to be comforting him. Not because Leo seemed incapable of doing so, but because Leo could be such a loose cannon. He was unpredictable and sometimes, downright mad, so this wasn’t a side of Leo that Tsukasa saw very often; it was a side Leo would only unearth when necessity called upon it.

“Even if you don’t know right now, maybe just talking will help you out? Like if you talk enough you’ll eventually get on a train of thought where it can lead you to the root of your problems?”

“Well I suppose it couldn’t hurt though I can’t really say I know where to begin…”

“Why not just with how your day went?”

Tsukasa wasn’t sure how talking about his day would help him out here, but it wasn’t as if he had any other ideas or suggestions that was better than what Leo just offered, so he decided to go along with it for now, “I suppose my day was fairly normal. Classes are proceeding fine. And as far as Knights goes we have an S3  _Dream Fest_  coming up with Trickstar, though I suppose you know that since you offered to make a new composition for us, but  _unit_  activities have been going along splendidly.

“Ritsu-senpai has been especially motivated lately since he’s getting to work with Isara-senpai, Narukami-senpai has been getting a lot of modeling jobs lately, the new first years also had a few small job offers as well and Knights reputation has also improved considerably as well. The blemish in Knights’ history from last year seems to have been completely forgotten. As a  _unit_  we have been getting a lot of outside jobs as well.” 

“So where do you fit in all of this?”   
  
“I’m sorry?”   
  
“Well, Suo, you keep talking about everyone else, but what about you? You haven’t really talked about yourself once.”

Not really sure what he should say, Tsukasa decided to keep silent. It wasn’t like he could protest what Leo said because even if he didn’t realize it, it’s true, he hadn’t really talked about himself once. Despite the fact he was supposed to be talking about himself.

“Plus, compared to before, when you’re talking about Knights, your eyes aren’t shining like they used to, so tell me, is something going on within Knights?”

“Oh no, nothing is going on,” Tsukasa assured while he waved his hands. “It’s quite the opposite actually, everyone has been nothing short of supportive. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, but both Ritsu-senpai and Narukami-senpai have given me a great amount of support, so I’m thankful the two of them aren’t faulting me for anything.

“But rest assured, this doesn’t mean I’m slacking off as Knights’ current  _leader._ Mistakes are inevitable especially with a novice such as myself, but I shall work to the best of my capabilities and learn from my previous errors to ensure the same mistakes won’t happen again- Um,  _Leader_  is something the matter? You’re making a face.” 

Leo said nothing, but there was something that clearly bothered him with what Tsukasa said. And just as Tsukasa was about to ask him again, Leo was once again pinching his cheeks and stretching them out as wide as he could.

“Ow,  _Leader_ , that hurts. I am politely asking you to cease and desist,” Tsukasa managed to say in between each time Leo stretched out his cheeks. After Leo gave him one more giant stretch he must have decided he punished Tsukasa enough and finally let go of his face. Tsukasa quickly went to grab his face and scooted back away from Leo in case he went to go stretch his face for a third time tonight.

“What was that for?” Tsukasa asked, obviously a little irritated with Leo’s actions. “There’s no need to resort to such methods to get my attention. Please use your words instead.”

“Tsukasa,” Leo said sternly, and to that Tsukasa jumped a bit in his spot. Leo never called him by his given name. He was always so overly affectionate and didn’t care for formalities at all, so to hear him call his name properly, it was a little jarring. Something Tsukasa said must have really bothered Leo, but he wasn’t sure what it could possibly be. It’s not like he was lying or said anything wrong.   
  
“Why can’t you talk about yourself positively?”

“What?”   
  
“This entire time, you haven’t said one positive thing about yourself. You’re singing songs of praise for everyone, but yourself. That’s not like the Suo I know.”

Tsukasa said nothing. What could he really say? Leo wasn’t wrong after all. By the end of his first year, Tsukasa exuberated in confidence. There was no doubt in his mind after Fortune Banquet when his seniors helped him through his worries as the Suou heir, and at Repayment Festival, when he was crowned the next king of Knights, the pride he felt those days were immense. But tried as he might, Tsukasa couldn’t really think of a time after that where he felt that sort of pride and pure excitement, which only made him feel even guiltier.

Tsukasa knew there was many things he should be proud of. Even with their slight mishaps they were, on the grand scale of things, not that significant, and all their lives thus far have been nothing short of spectacular. Knights was truly flourishing in this era of peace, a road helped paved by Leo one year prior.

So why couldn’t he proudly stand before the former leader of Knights as the current one?

“I’m not sure I know how to exactly put this into words…” Tsukasa admitted. It just felt like this entire evening with Leo thus far was just him being at a loss with words. Normally, Tsukasa was more than capable to carefully articulate his thoughts, but that seemed near impossible with how this night has been going thus far.

“Just say whatever you want and don’t hold back. I’ll listen to any and all of your complaints,” Leo encouraged, closing the gap Tsukasa created between them a few minutes prior. Tsukasa looked at Leo pensively for a bit before he mutely nodded and took a deep breath.

“Um…  _Leader,_  I do not wish to sound ungrateful, nor do I want you to think I don’t trust your  _judgement_ , but I guess, perhaps, what has been tolling my mind is if I’m truly ready for this. Ritsu-senpai is the oldest, and before you returned and while Sena-senpai was suspended from idol activities, Narukami-senpai took over a temporary  _leader_ , so surely either Ritsu-senpai or Narukami-senpai would have made fine  _leaders_ , and yet… it is me. This time last year I was their junior, and now I am their  _leader._  

“It almost feels like I have overstepped my bounds. Like, maybe we skipped over some formalities for my sake. I know neither Ritsu-senpai or Narukami-senpai harbor any ill will against me; that goes completely against their character and I am fully aware of that, but I suppose I feel a sense of guilt when I make a mistake and they have to clean up after me. Like maybe how we wouldn’t be in this predicament right now if one of them was the  _leader_  instead of me.”

Tsukasa didn’t realize until this very moment how much these thoughts weighed down upon his mind, but speaking it out loud, somehow, he felt like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It didn’t change the fact that he was still concerned, nor did he think that everything was going to magically be better now, but it felt like a good first step to ease his growing concerns.

“Is that all you were concerned about? Really? Man Suo, you have it really easy,” Leo laughed. Tsukasa gave Leo a light shove to indicate his annoyance with Leo laughing at his problems.

“You instruct me to tell you how I am feeling, and then after I pour my soul out to you, you sit there and laugh at me? Do you realize how rude this is?” 

“Sorry, you’re right, I shouldn’t be laughing at you,” Leo agreed as he wiped a tear from his eye and regained his composure. “It’s just, I thought it was going to be something much more serious, so I’m glad it’s only this.”

Just as Tsukasa was about to say something, Leo cut him off, “Suo, I thought it was obvious why I chose you to be the next king, but I guess it wasn’t as obvious as I thought or maybe you’re just that oblivious. “

“You’re the last person I want to hear that from,” Tsukasa huffed as he crossed his arms. It was times like this that Tsukasa thought he must be crazy for dating Leo.  

“Suo, do you wanna know why I chose you to be king?” Leo asked though Tsukasa was fairly confident it was rhetoric. Tsuaksa had to admit he was rather curious to know why Leo chose him, but he was sure whether he wanted to know or not, Leo was going to tell him regardless. “I chose you to be king because you have the desire to seize power and grab it for your own. And not in a way that you’re power hungry or selfish, but you have a clear distinctive desire to lead.

“You’re right, Rittsu and Naru could have probably made some good leaders, but I wasn’t looking for good. I was looking for the best. Rittsu is too lazy and Naru is too kind, but Suo, you have that want, that  **need** , to grab hold of power and take it for your own. You wanted to bring Knights to a new level never seen before. Knights under the rule of Naru and Rittsu would have been good, but with you as Knights’ leader, I knew I was leaving it in the most capable hands. 

“You know, Sena told me about your first day, and how starry eyed you came to them about letting you join Knights. How you wouldn’t take no for an answer. How you worked relentlessly in order for him to accept you as a member.

“You, who was the only one to truly stand up against me when I declared Judgement. I was really ready back then… to disband Knights I mean. I laid siege upon my own castle and with no remorse, but Suo, you convinced me to do otherwise.

“And then time and time after that, it was always you who came and found me when I got lost on campus, it was you who found all of Rittsu’s napping places and dragged him back to the studio, and it was you who kept us on track whenever we got derailed during our meetings. No one worked harder than Suo to bring Knights all together.

“With all that in mind, how could I possibly choose anyone else besides Suo to lead Knights after I graduated? I don’t think there’s anyone who loves Knights more than Tsukasa Suou.

“And so, because of that, I handed the torch over to you, Suo.”

Tsukasa was stunned upon this new revelation. It wasn’t as if he thought Leo didn’t give picking his successor serious consideration, but Tsukasa was surprised by the depth of how much thought Leo gave.

“Do you understand now? Why I chose you. It wasn’t like I was playing favorites because I liked you. You rightfully inherited that title.”

Tsukasa nodded, but something still weighed on his mind. And it must have been rather apparent, since Leo picked up on it right away, “You’re still not completely convinced? Alright Suo, lay it on me.”

“Please don’t be mistaken, it’s not like I think you did a bad job explaining, in fact, I feel a lot better knowing how much thought you put into choosing me as your successor, but… I suppose Ritsu-senpai and Narukami-senpai was a part of the concern,” Tsukasa replied. “I think the other part is the huge mantle I am taking up. No- that’s not really right either. Rather than the title, what has me so uncertain is whose shoes I have to fill.

“While you were by no means a  _perfect leader_ , you were still someone really admirable. I admired all four of my seniors very much. You were all confident in your abilities, but at the same time it was never in a conceited way. Everyone stood strong and proud. Everyone truly did shine on stage. All of you always looked so composed and you hardly ever broke a sweat as I barely managed to keep up. I chased, and chased, but it almost felt like no matter how hard I worked, you were all always five steps ahead of me.

“You led Knights through a bloody war then you led Knights through an era of peace that followed after, and you did so magnificently. No matter what anyone else says, I will always think you did a  _splendid_  job. 

“After we first met, I swore to myself I would never pledge my loyalty to you. You were nothing like I imagined, and I thought I would surely lose a piece of myself If I ever did. But here we are a year later, not only did I pledge my loyalty, I started dating you as well. Truly, this was a strange twist of fate.

“So, I suppose in the end I was scared. Scared I wouldn’t be able to fill your shoes and scared I would disappoint everyone and not live up to their expectations.” 

For the second time that night, Leo laughed at him. It goes without say hearing his boyfriend laugh at his problems (again) was not something he wanted to see or hear. Just as Tsukasa was about to give Leo an earful, Leo cut him off, “I’m not laughing at you Suo. I’m laughing because you see me as someone worth high praise.

“You know, I didn’t think you ever really thought highly of me. Last year, all you ever did was nag me and whenever you spoke your mind, I felt like I was being roasted like coffee beans. When you agreed to be my boyfriend, I thought ‘This can’t be the real Suo!’ and how you must have been abducted by aliens because there was no way this little upstart could ever like me.  

“I’m not someone worth singing songs about. I didn’t do anything special during my reign. I would say in all of Knights’ history before Chess, before Othello, starting from the very beginning, I was probably the worst leader. I broke, I ran away, and I only came back because I heard Tenshi got knocked down a couple of pegs, so I wanted to check it out. Honestly, I’m a mess.

“Suo, I’m not someone worthy of your admiration.”

This time it was Tsukasa was vigorously shaking his head. There was no way he could agree with anything Leo just said.

“Allow me to clarify something to you  _Leader_ , I nagged you and as you put it ‘roasted you like coffee beans’ because of how much I admired you all, and I still do. My seniors are truly amazing people. If I didn’t admire you all, I wouldn’t have cared so much, and I wouldn’t have joined Knights, or if I did, I would have left right away. I knew my seniors were capable of greatness, so seeing everyone being lethargic while I worked hard and could still barely keep up, it was  _frustrating_ , so perhaps I was taking my frustrations out on my seniors, so for that I apologize.

“But please do not think I didn’t admire you, or that you’re not worth being admired or praised. I have enough self-awareness to know that I’m not the easiest to please, and you definitely satisfy the requirements needed for my admiration.

“No one should expect you to be perfect, you’re bound to make mistakes. To be human is to err. What matters is not the mistakes we’ve made, but rather, what we do afterwards. You may have ran away in the past, but in the end, you still came back, and even if you faced them in a rather roundabout way, you still faced your problems. It’s okay to fall  _Leader_  because I am here now, and I will be here to catch you.”

“You really should take your own advice Suo,” Leo replied quietly. “I’m here for you too and you don’t need to be perfect either, you know. I know I don’t really get the whole ‘heir to this vast fortune’ thing you have going on, but what I do know is that it puts a lot of pressure on you. 

“But Suo, you’re still only seventeen years old.

“Now is the time to be do something foolish because you can still use the excuse of being a kid. It won’t be like that for much longer. We’ll be 20 before you know it, and when that happens, the whole world shifts and we can no longer get away with thing we once could, so now is the time for us to be reckless and live life to the fullest.   
  
“I understand you can’t have a normal childhood and go out and do things other people our age can do, but you don’t need to constantly feel you need to live up to everyone’s expectations either. 

“I can catch you too.”

Tsukasa wasn’t really sure what came over him, but the next thing he knew his arms were around Leo’s waist.

_Finally._

This was the lightest Tsukasa’s chest had felt in such a long time. Tsukasa always knew in the back of his mind how something was weighing down on his shoulders, but he couldn’t pin point anything of what was weighing him down all this time until Leo had forced him to open up.

“ _Leader_ , there’s one more thing I wish to correct,” Tsukasa said as he still clutched Leo close.

In the year Tsukasa has known Leo, the two of them have grown. Not only mentally, but physically as well, and Tsukasa, at a slightly faster pace than Leo. Now, Tsukasa stood three centimeters taller than his senior; however, he still fit perfectly in Leo’s arms when he held like him this, like Leo’s body was made perfectly to cradle Tsukasa’s.

“When you said how I couldn’t possibly return your feelings. At this point you should be completely aware, but I shall reiterate this for you just in case, I can assure you that I am the real Tsukasa Suou.

“The real Tsukasa Suou does indeed love you because there was no way I could ever possibly feel any different towards you. Of course, there are moments I find you absolutely incorrigible, and there are times you can drive me up a wall, but at the same time, there is no one else who makes me feel like the way you do.

“No one else would have been able to get me to talk like you did tonight. No one else would have been able to put my mind at ease like you did. Being in your arms like this is comforting, and when we’re like this I almost feel like my troubles are washing away. 

“I’m aware people would find us to be an odd couple, we’re opposites in many regards, but if we looked beyond that first superficial layer, you can truly see how we balance each other out.”

Leo stayed quiet at first, as if he was trying to fully process what Tsukasa was telling him, but after a bit Leo moved Tsukasa’s arms down off his waist and looked at Tsukasa with a cheeky grin, “Hey Suo, did you say you love me?”

To that question, Tsukasa felt the blood rush to his face. He didn’t say that exactly, but the implication was surely there. He didn’t mean to casually drop a word like “love” in this conversation, but he got so caught up in the moment that it slipped out. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it in that way. Please forget you heard that part,” Tsukasa was sure his face must have been beet red at this point and went to bury his face in his hands. How could he have possibly said something so foolish? Was it not always him who told Leo to not be so loose lipped and casually say things like “I love you” to others? This was a novice mistake on his part.

“Suo, it’s fine,” Leo said as he took a hold of Tsukasa’s hands and lowered them down, so he could look at Tsukasa in the eyes once again. “Because I love you too.” 

Tsukasa was dumbfounded for a moment. It wasn’t the first time that Leo uttered that phrase to him, but this time, there was a different meaning to it. Even if it was a slip of the tongue, Tsukasa was sure, he truly does love Leo Tsukinaga.  

Just as Tsukasa was about to say something, Leo had already beat him to the punch as he tackled him back down on the bed, “I really love you Suo~”  

Normally being tackled like that, Tsukasa would find himself annoyed, but now he couldn’t help but smile as he let out of light laugh. That was a much more Leo response Tsukasa thought to himself. Tsukasa knew full well that the serious side of Leo he was seeing for the last while wasn’t something that would last for too long and how it was only a matter of time until he returned to his normal goofy self. Not that Tsukasa had a problem with that or even faulted Leo for it.

After all, Leo’s free spirit was also one of the many things Tsukasa loved about him. 

“I love you too  _Leader_ ,” Tsukasa replied as he tightened his hold on Leo. He could say that earnestly and confidently now to him. He never knew exactly how much power the phrase ‘I love you’ carried until he uttered it himself just now, but he was happy to finally be able to express it with Leo.

He was a romantic at heart, so Tsukasa wanted to say how he wanted to spend the rest of his days with Leo, this joyous feeling he gave him was incredible, but at the same time, Tsukasa knew the future was uncertain. There were so many things life could throw at them from now until the end of their days. Nothing was certain. Tsukasa couldn’t confidentially say they would be together forever, but at the very least, even if he couldn’t say they will be together until they're old and grey, Tsukasa wanted to enjoy every moment they spent together from now on.

And that was perhaps another thing Tsukasa loved about Leo, the first person who ever made Tsukasa feel like he wanted to live in the moment. 

“Hey Suo, I’ve been thinking, I know I was the one who told you before to keep calling me leader, but maybe you could start calling me by my name instead? We did just exchange our first ‘I love you’s after all,” Leo laughed, to which Tsukasa lightly punched him in his side.

“I certainly don’t mind, but why the change of heart? Before when I asked you said you liked how it made you feel special.”

“Hmmm… yeah it does. It makes me feel  **really**  special because I know there won’t be anyone else you ever address that way, so I liked you calling me that quite a lot,” Leo confessed. “But after tonight, I think we need to get you out of this mindset where I’m out of your reach.

I’m no longer your leader, Suo. The leader of Knights is now you, and you are just of much as a king as I am, so stop chasing me because we’re already standing side by side as kings.”

Tsukasa didn’t think it was possible to feel such an overwhelming amount of emotions in one night, but tonight had sure been a rollercoaster. Having this heart to heart with Leo was not something he had planned on in tonight’s activities, but Leo seemed to always like to keep him on his toes.

“Shall I call you Tsukinaga-senpai then?”   
  
“No way Suo, how do you expect me to feel to go from a special name like ‘leader’ to how you address everyone else?”   
  
“Leo-senpai?”   
  
“Also no. Senpai is too stuffy. Plus, we’re trying to close the gap between us. We’re no longer on a senpai-kohai basis. C’mon Suo, I thought you were smarter than this.”

“Kuaaa,” Tsukasa let out an undignified noise, rolling over away from Leo and out of their embrace. Tsukasa sat up and was clearly frustrated.

Leo kept dismissing all of his suggestions, which meant he must have had an idea of how he wanted Tsukasa to address him, but rather than just tell him, he was making Tsukasa play this guessing game. It was truly vexing. Leo was generally rather straight forward, but there we times he loved playing games like this just to yank Tsukasa’s chain a little bit because he found it amusing or fun to see Tsukasa’s reactions.   
  
“Maybe I should start calling you  _imbecile_  or stupid if you don’t tell me what you clearly favor.”

“Wah, Suo, here I am trying to help and you’re insulting me? What kind of thanks is this?” 

“I’ll thank you properly when you tell me properly how you want me to address you rather than playing these games with me.”

“You’re such a kill joy, Suo.”   
  
“Well you said you love this kill joy.”   
  
“Hmmm… that’s right, I do,” Leo replied as he grabbed him from behind bringing Tsukasa back into his embrace and resting his head on Tsukasa’s shoulder. Leo said nothing as he held Tsukasa, but Tsukasa remained unmoving and stubborn. He would not concede to Leo’s idiocy. Tsukasa absolutely refused because if he were to do so then Leo would surely start using that to his advantage.

“Leo,” he practically breathed into Tsukasa’s ear, which made Tsukasa jump in his seat. Tsukasa was positive if Leo wasn’t holding him so tight, he might have actually jumped off the bed.

“Excuse me?” 

“I just want you to call me Leo,” he admitted. Tsukasa was glad he wasn’t facing Leo still because his face must have been as red as a tomato hearing Leo say that. There weren’t many people Tsukasa was on a first name basis for. Hajime was one because he was his destined rival, Tori, simply because he didn’t hold any ounce of respect for, Ritsu because he demanded it and didn’t want to be reminded of or mistaken for his brother, and the Aoi twins to differentiate between the two.

To address someone by their first name. It was rather intimate. Tsukasa knew they just exchanged their first real “I love you”s but things were progressing all too fast for him. He felt as if his brain might explode. 

But this is something Tsuaksa wanted to do too.

After gathering his courage, Tsukasa turned around to face Leo. He was sure there was still some remnants of pink on his cheeks, but he could see now how Leo was blushing at bit as well.

“Leo… -san?...” there was hesitation in Tsukasa’s voice, though for numerous reasons. Addressing Leo with senpai was out of the question, and there was no way he could ever refer to Leo with -kun, so -san seemed the most appropriate, but it was still rather embarrassing. 

“Grrr… No Suo. Just Leo. No honorifics. Just my name,” Leo pouted before he let out an aggravated sigh. “How is Suo this dense? I thought you were one of the smartest in your class.” 

“What are you whining for? You're older than me so please stop acting this childish. It’s rather unbecoming… L-Leo,” Tsukasa’s voice trailed off when he spoke Leo’s name.

It truly was as embarrassing to say as he imagined it to be. The only saving grace of when he felt the heat rush back to his face again was that he could see the red slowly creep on Leo’s as well when he unexpectedly heard Tsukasa call his name as he had asked. Tsukasa had to admit, he reveled in that fact a little bit. Leo had been embarrassing him all night, so it was nice to see him get flustered as well. He was finally getting his just desserts after all.

Putting his small (unexpected) victory aside, Tsukasa knew there was something he wanted to ask Leo too now.

“If I may make a request as well, could you perhaps then refer to me by my given name as well. I mean, it only seems fair considering I’m calling you but your first name now too  _Lead-_  I mean, Leo.”

“Hmmm… if Suo, wants me to call him by his first name too that’s no problem. But if Tsukasa then what would be a good nickname?” Leo begun to think out loud to himself.

“You can just refer to me as Tsukasa, you know.”   
  
“Yeah, but there’s no fun in that. Now shush Suo, I’m trying to think of a good new nickname for you. If your name is Tsukasa then…” Leo started rambling to himself, and Tsukasa just allowed him to do so. Once Leo was down this path, Tsukasa knew there was no way he could talk Leo out of it.

“Ah, I got it, I’ll just call you ‘Tsuu’ instead now,” Leo said proudly. “You are hereby Tsuu for now on. Alright, Tsuu?” Tsukasa knew that was a rhetorical question once again, but at least it wasn’t anything embarrassing, so he knew he could live with this new nickname that Leo came up with.

“Even if I voiced my opinion against said name, I know you would just keep calling me that anyway, so I’ll just willingly accept it and save myself the trouble,” Tsukasa replied, to which Leo just grinned. 

“Then it’s official,” Leo said as he brought Tsukasa into another embrace. Tsukasa sighed, but this time he decided to return Leo’s affection, and reciprocate the hug. After all, he already knew there was no way he could ever stay mad at Leo for too long.

“There’s no need to make a big deal out of it. It’s just a nickname.” 

“Nuh-uh Tsuu, it’s more than just a nickname. It’s us taking our relationship to the next level,” Leo said. “Don’t you feel it? Closer, I mean. ‘Cause I sure do.”

“I do,” Tsukasa admitted. He never thought being together with someone would make him feel this happy, but he was glad he was with Leo to experience all of this. Leo truly was showing him a whole new world he could have never even dreamed of. 

“It’s getting late, I should probably go,” Leo said abruptly. Tsukasa looked up at him to see Leo’s eyes were fixated on the clock. Taking a look for himself now, Tsukasa could see how it was now past midnight. Well past his bedtime.

Just as Leo was about to stand up, Tsukasa grabbed his hand, “Wait, as you said, it’s rather late, so it would be dangerous for you to go home at this hour alone, so why not stay the night. We have plenty of guest rooms prepared.”

“We both have class tomorrow.” 

“Yours aren't until later, in the afternoon, right? So, we could just leave together when I go to school.”

Was Leo honestly going to be the reasonable one here for a change? Though walking home this late at night, hardly seemed reasonable at the same time, so maybe not. It was clearly safer for Leo to spend the night here. 

“And what would your parents say? It’s not like I was here before while they were awake.”   
  
“We can simply say you came by after they went to bed and needed to talk to me,” Tsukasa said. None of that was a lie. Leo really did come here to talk in the end, and it wasn’t like the two of them were fooling around in any way. Plus, his parents weren’t heartless and would force someone to go home alone this late at night either.

“Tsuu, is there another reason why you want me to stay?”

Tsukasa let go of Leo’s hand at this point. Leo did have a point. By having him stay it was jeopardizing their relationship becoming exposed. He should be the first one shoving Leo out the door, or in this case, the window. But Tsukasa also knew despite knowing what was right, he still wanted Leo by his side.

“You said earlier it was fine to be a little reckless, right?”   
  
“Yeah, but not when it can get you in some serious trouble. What if you get disowned or something?”

Tsukasa shook his head, “I doubt it would escalate to that degree over having you stay over the night. At most, a simple grounding may occur for allowing a friend to stay without permission.”

“Yeah, but I doubt you’ve ever been grounded in your life.”

“… I cannot deny that.”

“So, I should go.”

“No!” Tsukasa said a bit louder than he intended and quickly covered his mouth. Hopefully no one heard him yell so late at night because if anyone walked in on them now, then surely the two of them would be in a world of trouble. 

“I mean- yes, you’re right. I suppose the reason I want you to stay goes beyond just your wellbeing, but I just simply want to stay by your side. That’s all,” Tsukasa admitted. “But I realize how that is rather selfish on my part. I shouldn’t stop you from going home. I’m sure your family will be worried about you if you don’t go back home, so I’m sorry for making such an unreasonable request.”

Tsukasa went to go turn around and make his way over to the closet in order to get the plank for Leo again in order for him to safely cross to the tree outside his bedroom window, but Tsukasa felt his arm being tugged, preventing him from walking away. 

“Tsuu, show me to one of these guest rooms.”

“Huh? But Leo, what about your family?”

“I’ll send them a text to let them know I’m staying here for the night. I know they won’t mind,” Leo replied. “You’re right, even if I’m a guy, I shouldn’t tempt fate like that. What if an alien abducted me on the walk home? Who knows how long they’ll keep me this time if that were to happen.”

“You’re once again saying something scientifically unrealistic.”

“Wahaha, spoken like a true pessimist, but I assure you Tsuu, I saw aliens with my very own eyes.”

“I’m not a-“ Tsukasa let out a sigh. There was no point in arguing with Leo over this. He knew that. This was a battle Tsukasa knew he was destined to lose, so he decided to quit while he was ahead. “Thank you.”

“Hm? For what?” 

“For agreeing to stay. You don’t have to, you know. I’ll be alright.”   
  
“I know, but it’s not often little Tsuu makes a request like ‘please stay with me.’ It’s actually pretty cute. You’re so cute Tsuu. If anyone else would have asked me to spend the night, I might question it more. We are dating after all, so it’s only natural.

“Anyone else would have gotten funny ideas from your proposal, but I know you meant nothing more by what you said. ‘Cause I know how much of a prude you are Tsuu. But that’s something I love about you too.”

“I know it was your intention to compliment me; however, being called cute over and over again, doesn’t make me feel good at all. Please at least call me handsome or something along those lines instead. I’m not a child, so don’t refer to me as such childish things like ‘cute.’

“And please don't misconstrue what I say! That will only cause me problems if you do so.”

Leo couldn’t help but laugh again as he gave Tsukasa a peck on his cheek, “Alright, alright. I’ll try to not to call you cute or read in between the lines too much.” 

“Reading in between the lines is not the problem. It’s when you choose to read in between the lines, and whenever you do there are no lines to read in between.”

“I get it Tsuu. I really do. Just show me where this guest room is. I’m starting to get tired now,” in order to prove his point, Leo let out a yawn. Tsukasa knew this was one of the oldest tricks in the book, he decided to drop it for now because in all honesty, he was rather tired himself, and unlike Leo, he had classes in the morning he had to attend. 

“Alright, come with me this way,” Tsukasa said, as he took Leo’s hand and guided him out of his room. Just a couple doors down from his bedroom was one of the guest rooms. Tsukasa opened the door to reveal the room to him.

“Please make yourself at-” Tsukasa started saying as Leo ran, and dove right into the bed “-home.”  

He really should have known better to think that Leo would have acted any different. With a sigh, Tsukasa walked over to the bed, and slapped Leo on his back in order to get him to stop rolling around.

“There should be some clothes in the dresser that should fit you that you can wear as pajamas. I’ll inform a staff member how you’re here, so no one is surprised in the morning and then head to bed myself.”

“Wait, Tsuu before you go,” Leo quickly grabbed Tsukasa’s arm before he was out of his reach, pulling him into his direction and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. “A good night kiss. Thanks for letting me stay.”

“Well, thank you for humoring me,” Tsukasa said as a faint trail of pink resided on his face from the unexpected kiss. He needed to stop letting little things like this work him up so much, but it was as Leo said earlier, he was a prude after all. Little displays of affection like this was something Tsukasa knew he was slowly going to get used to. As long as he was dating Leo, Leo was bound to do this to him time and time again. “Good night Leo.”

“Good night Tsuu,” Leo replied with a smile. “Wait hold on, one more thing before you go. Can I ask you a question?”

“Yes, what is it?”

“On a scale of 1 to 10 how much would you love to be serenaded to with the sounds of a kazoo for your morning alarm?” Leo asked, and the only proper response Tsukasa could think of was shoving Leo back into the bed and made his way to the door. 

As Tsukasa clutched the door knob he turned just his head to face Leo, “To answer your question, I would say negative 1000.

“However, if it was  **you**  to do so, there’s no doubt in my mind how I wouldn’t mind it too much. After all, I expect nothing less from my rather insufferable boyfriend.”

Tsukasa didn’t need to look back at Leo again to know how there was a huge grin on his face, already plotting what sweet melody to play for Tsukasa when morn comes. However, it was Leo who would have to play the fun guessing game now of what time Tsukasa got up because he would have to beat him awake in order for this plan to work.

And with that, Tsukasa opened and closed the door behind him, leaving Leo to his own devices as he went to go find a household staff still awake at this hour in order to let them know of their extra guest for the night and ensure an extra plate was prepared for him at breakfast.

A smile pursed on Tsukasa’s lips. Despite the secrecy of their relationship and knew the dangerous game he was playing by being in a relationship with Leo, Tsukasa knew that his love for Leo was most certainly worth it. There was no one else he could think of that he would rather spend the rest of his days with. 

It wasn’t like they were going to have an easy road ahead of them. At some point Tsukasa will have to come clean to his parents about his relationship. He knew that fact well. And it wasn’t as if his relationship with Leo was the only difficulty he will face. He is the current leader of Knights, and he would continue to be so for another year after this too. There’s no doubt a long road of trials and tribulations were waiting for him.

But any difficulties he may face from now and until then, Tsukasa knew he wasn’t going to face them alone. He knew Leo would be there, by his side, every step of the way. There was no more chasing. He has caught up. Leo wasn’t somewhere completely out of reach any longer. Now, Tsukasa could proudly stand tall next to Leo, side by side, as his equal, as his fellow king.

Leo Tsukinaga was Tsukasa’s first love and there wasn’t anyone Tsukasa held dearer to his heart than Leo himself. While Leo eased his concerns, Tsukasa still knew how the future carried many uncertainties, but like his difficulties, Tsukasa knew he wouldn’t be facing those uncertainties alone. He was going to face them head on, and never let go of Leo’s hand.

Because if there was one thing Tsukasa was certain about after this night, it was how much he loves Leo Tsukinaga and how lost he would be without him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. If you guys ever wish to chat I have a twitter account over at @KagayakuMyFaith. Feel free to cry and scream with me about some good boys and idol hell at any time.


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